• What's wrong??

What's wrong??

Do you often ask yourself this question? Well I do a lot  ! There is this new swag that runs around these days it's called " being yourself " I wonder how many of you actually follow that !! It's on everyone's exterior but completely hollow on the inside ! You see I have grown up to be the only child in the family , I live with my parents and that's it ! So even if I want to I can never be someone else or even pretend to be! So maybe this "being yourself" is a new swag but I had in me since childhood ! Now I m not bragging about it but it's actually my concern here. If I be me with myself I am amazing , but as soon as there are people around me ; they hate me or in other words you can say they pretend to like me! Also I am not socially awkward or anything , I can moderately interact with people ; guys I am an open book. I enjoy listening to people . But there is something about people that scares me to death ; and it's how unpredictable they can be! No less than a  chameoleon  , people change personalities like they are changing clothes ! For an easily attaching person like me this is a very big deal ! You might have heard stories about great lovers heart breaks , well my heart breaks even if a tiny little relationship of mine with any person in my life breaks ! It shatters me! And Everytime it happens I keep asking myself what's wrong with me? Cause trust me it happens very often with me! ☹️

To find out this answer I have tried being with different kinds of people ! People with rules, with mystery , humor , silence , sensitive even poets  but my experience with all of them was pretty much the same! They all left me for some reason that I don't even know! And it hurts as hell to not know the cause of your pain! Although these people had different personalities they all did the same thing to me! You see a person can be fake but not for long ! The reality always shows itself , so the "being yourself"  masks these people were wearing eventually fell off and turns out they all are same, deep inside they are running behind people ,following the stronger squad like it's the only way they could survive not knowing what they are missing out! Just imagine them being themselves they would have been different in their own way , they would have amazed the world and I would be writing positive perspectives of them ! All this chaos has made me wonder why would you want to be someone else ? Some would say to fit in ! Be a part of something big ! Well I can't seem to understand that and maybe that's why I don't fit in and I am obligated to ask myself the same question over and over again ; what's wrong with me??